Getting to know Jessica

I find myself on Blogger every few weeks to see what is happening in the lives of my family and friends I follow and every time I'm on here I think I need to update my own blog! I have pictures of adventures I intend to put up and share with everyone, but life happens I guess and in this moment I find myself needing to write about something so random, but I am just going to go with it. In all honesty, if I find an hour to myself I'd much rather spend it reading a good book, but the release I find in writing is such that I am surprised I don't write more. For how "outgoing" I am ...or am labeled to be, my closest friends are my husband and my journal so you wouldn't think our blog would be too far behind, but I'm really a private person most of the time. All the same I am up for sharing and passing on what I have learned so, to start, here are some other things about me.

I love sports and I am competitive.

I don't take crap from anyone. I can be mean, harsh, heartless and brutal, but rarely without having been pushed to the limit and without reasonable cause. I'm loud, outspoken and opinionated, but I haven't always been. You learn those qualities when you've had enough from someone or something and you suddenly realize you won't ever get pushed around again so now that attitude is part of you and you couldn't be more proud of it. Not surprisingly, I am usually the disciplinarian in our house.

I am also a softy especially when it comes to my boys.

I am usually happy and upbeat rain or shine because I don't like attention, but I will ask for help when I need it.

I am not really a people-person meaning, most people get on my nerves and I get on most peoples nerves. Some days I'm not OK with not having a best-friend-girl-friend, but most days I am because my personal drama is more than enough for me.

I am a homebody and will often opt to stay home to get a break or have fun by cooking with Frank, watching a movie, playing games or hanging out with my boys.

I am very much a self helper meaning I love books that will give guidance and direction from the small how-to things to the bigger things like getting babies on schedules, disciplining my toddler and bettering myself.

I love lists. I use them for everything! Lists of what I need to do today, a list of things to do sometime this week, a list of hopeful projects both home improvement and crafting or scrap-booking, lists of ideas for dinner, lists of what is in the freezer and what is in the fridge with dates of when each thing will go bad. I could on and on naming the things I list. I like lists for a few reasons. First, I'll forget. Second, it makes my life easier and more organized. Third, it leaves less stress and clutter in my brain.

As if the previous fact doesn't make it obvious, I am a perfectionist. I'm not the type who can't stand my house to be reasonably messy, but the type who can't have things done any less than 100%. When I start something I don't usually stop until I finish it and I like things done my way and I'd rather do it myself so I can make sure it's done right and if I can't do it myself I'll double check to make sure it's up to par when the other person gets done.

Since I like things done my way, I'll own up to being somewhat of a control freak and I often turn to my self improvement books to learn how to let go of the things I can't control and not care so much about trying to control everything else. I am a person who cares too much in almost every respect and it would do me some good to care less. As a part of that, I am also a worrier and a stressor so much so that I will become physically ill and go through depressive episodes if something consumes me enough. I've kept a list (haha) of what causes my episodes and rest assured they are important and typical things: Family, finances, and my personal performance in life as a wife and mother.

The last year or so has been a journey to find myself and know myself. I don't think I could have written about myself in this way because I didn't know who I was outside of knowing I was outspoken, opinionated, an optimistic-pessimist, perfectionist, fun, happy, harsh, stubborn, witty, a mother and wife. I used to see that list and only see four good things: Wife, mother, fun and happy. I thought the rest were bad qualities. I don't know that I can tell you why I thought the rest was so bad other than in my mind I had made them so. Now, I don't see myself as a list of adjectives and nouns but as a person with a story and a personality that explains each adjective and noun and how they all make up the puzzle of me. I've found I am much more at peace with myself and can stay balanced much better than I used to, but I also know it took having an open mind and a willingness to work hard to get where I am today. I love passing on what I learn especially if it will help someone else so, this is what I have done and do to keep the harmony I have so long been seeking.

1. I went to a therapist and loved it. You don't have to have a "real" reason to go to one! I really loved going and I go back every so often when I don't know how to work through something that is hindering me as a person or causing me to have depressive episodes. They have tools to help you break down barriers and allow you to move forward.

2. The book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns, is epic and has almost every answer you are looking for with anxiety and depression and so much more whether a constant burden or an occasional occurrence....which is everyone...just fyi :).

3. Take time for just you and do something you enjoy everyday.

4. Take time out to connect with your Heavenly Father.

5. Keep a journal where you let loose all your thoughts and feelings. It's the most relaxing activity and you will get to know and understand yourself better.

6. Make the list of nouns and adjectives that describe you, then find the story of how and why each one is part of who you are. You wrote it down for a reason, it is a part of you for a reason and you either like it or dislike that thing about yourself for a reason. Finding the answers and then accepting them brings a very satisfying clarity and peace.

Grandpas

Myles is very personable and friendly with everyone and he loves his family, but he has a special connection with each of his grandpas. We are so grateful to be only a 7hr drive at the longest, from all of our parents....for now. Frank's parents leave Monday to serve a 23 month mission in Germany so it has been so nice to see them so much over the last few months as they have been preparing to leave and making many trips to Utah as a result. My dad is an hour drive away and my other dad is in Nevada, 7hrs away. I have a grandpa in Nevada and one in Utah and Myles just adores them too. We see my Utah dad often, and I wish we could make the trip to Nevada more often to see my Nevada dad, but no matter how long it's been since he has seen any of his grandpas, he adores them just the same and he recognizes their pictures in our house, so they are all, always with him.




"Driving" grandpa Wilkerson's truck



Grandpa Astle and Myles



Great grandpa Astle and Myles



Grandpa Earley and Myles



With Great Grandpa Mills just after he was born (I have a more resent one, but it won't upload)

More Fun Adventures

It has been such a joy watching Myles personality come out more and more each day since his birth. He turned 18 months last month and with it has come even more of his character and fun everyday! Below are just a few of the many, many cute, crazy, interesting things Myles does ALL THE TIME!! It is so hard to document them all, but the most notable are listed here on our blog as long as I can catch the action!



I knew the day would come when I would be able to photograph Myles with his sweet face squished up against a glass window, blowing bubbles, but I didn't expect it at a year and a half!

Here he is cheesing at the camera for me



He started to climb inside the door of our entertainment center and I asked him what he was doing.



The next few pictures answered my question for me









He's smiling here because we were playing rock band and....



.....he thought it was funny we were coming after him with the drum stick



Trying to bite the stick through the glass



Myles in Grandpa Earley's shoes. He tried to walk around but he couldn't even lift the shoes off the ground!



His guilty face



He likes to put his legs under the carpet like it's a blanket




Frank was laying on the ground and Myles walked over and stood right over his head like he was going to sit on him or something.....



.....I don't always like being right! :D At least he wasn't poopy!



Myles had thrown some balls behind the couch and went after them. This was the result. He was crying at us to get him out until he saw the camera, then he did his cheesy grin. What can I say? I have trained him well! Oh, and then he went right back to crying!



I went to check on Myles before going to bed like I always do, but this time my sleeping toddler just didn't look quite right.....He had pulled his pajama shirt over his head and then got stuck!



Myles rarely falls asleep without seclusion and confinement to his bed, but he stayed up late and got up early this day so after lunch we were cuddled up on the couch and he just zonked! Too cute and very refreshing to have a sleeping babe in my arms!




Everyday is such an adventure with this sweet boy of mine! It is like he has been here forever and I have a hard time imagining how I survived without Frank and Myles to look forward to everyday!

The Chocolate Milk Mess!!!!!!

The other day my Dad gave us some Gossner's chocolate milk in the individual boxes. He gave us three, one for each of us. So, after lunch Myles and I had ours and then when Myles finished his he begged for Frank's. I'll admit, I was tempted to split it with him, I mean, it is GOSSNER'S chocolate milk!!!! BUT, I was a good wife to Frank, told him and me no and moved it from the table to the counter where he couldn't get to it. Later that day I was making dinner with Myles help. I was standing at the stove with Myles standing on a chair next to me. While focusing on the recipe I didn't even think about the fact that now, standing on the chair, Myles was within reach of that little box of chocolate milk. Normally, Myles LOVES to help me cook because I let him dump in the ingredients, but this time he climbed up to see what I was doing, got back down off the chair and started playing on the floor behind me. It didn't even occur to me that he must not be interested because he now had something wayyy more interesting than a plastic measuring cup!!! A few minutes later I turned around to grab something and this is what I saw.




He had gotten the straw off the carton and out of the plastic but couldn't get the straw in the little hole, but he had made enough progress to get something out of the carton so he turned the carton upside down making the puddle you see. Then he tried to drink it off the floor!!!! Luckily, I had swept and mopped earlier that day!



What mom?



I will admit it was my fault he got to the chocolate milk, but he still cleaned up most of it....with my help of course :)

Never a dull day!

I love my life! I have the most amazing husband who works so hard in school and then comes home and helps me with anything and everything I need while still taking the time to be the best Dad ever! And Myles is such an amazing little boy! Somehow we are always laughing or smiling because of him. We are so blessed and have amazing friends and family to boot! Speaking of great friends, we recently had our good friends Garret and Tiffany Church come stay with us. They have a little boy, Gabe, just a few months younger than Myles and they were hilarious together! We had a great time and were so glad they came to visit!


Already buds



Glued to the TV



Trying to get the ball from Garrett



Myles giving Gave a kiss



The kiss turned into a sneeze! Poor Gabe!





I am relatively anti-video games, but both my boys are addicted! I am glad they enjoy it and play together though.


Frank playing the play station and Myles acting like he is



My boys doing their cheesy smiles



Myles trying to walk with Franks shoes on





Making squishy faces with the tennis racket

How Myles Entertains Us

Frank and I have this thing with bouncing balls off of Myles head. He sees Frank bounce the soccer ball off his head and loves trying it but soccer balls are pretty hard and he would end up hurting himself when he tried. So, we got one of the big, soft, plastic balls for him to practice with, and so began Frank and I bouncing the balls off of Myles head. The other day Myles was playing with said ball and decided I could use a taste of my own medicine. :) So, he walked over and "bounces" the ball off my head!!! Liz and Frank were there and we all thought it was funny, but Myles thought it was HILARIOUS! See for yourself! One of favorite parts of this video is Liz and her super cute laugh at the end! LOVE IT!



Myles also really enjoys making noises so one day after I was chasing him and growling at him I tried to get him to growl and to my surprise I got what I asked for! So cute!

Our Wild Side!

For those of you who know Frank and I personally, you know Frank is the mellow one and I am the fiery one.... for the most part. Frank definitely has a fiery side, but it doesn't really show unless we are watching sports. We LOVE sports and, really, how can we not while living in the heart of Provo, Utah home of the B.Y.U Cougars! Living in Provo and Frank attending BYU is a HUGE perk to our love for sports. Now we attend sporting events like never before! It makes choosing what events to go to easy since I like football and Frank loves it. Frank likes tennis, I love it. I like soccer, Frank loves it. Frank likes Volleyball, I love it. So, normally only one of us is freaking out at the television, or in real life, while the other celebrates, cheers, and shows frustration inwardly. This pattern has been really good for us because one of us isn't glued to the T.V and can console Myles and tell him it's OK when Dad or Mom is yelling and screaming. Another sport I LOVE to watch is NCAA basketball. Frank has grown into this sport amazing well over the course of our relationship. I met Frank at the beginning of March in 2007 so right from the get go he has known how intense I am when it comes to March Madness. Every year Frank has gotten more and more intense himself, but this year warrants an intensity neither os us have ever known, Jimmer Mania!!! As if the NCAA wasn't off the hook in Provo before, this year has been epic! Our sports balance is officially non-existent when it comes to BYU Men's basketball! However, Myles is quite the sport fan himself and pumps his fists right along with us so it works out perfectly! Today was THEE game of the MWC conference with #7 BYU VS #6 SDSU (though SDSU will be going down in the rankings Monday :D!!) so we had Liz video record us so you can all see what the Wilkerson wild side looks and sounds like on BYU Men's Basketball game day!!!! Enjoy our blissfully, crazy selves!

Sewing Project!

There are a few things I have always wanted to learn how to do. Play the piano and learn to use a sewing machine. So, for Christmas I got a sewing machine and ever since my very talented and sewing savvy sister, Liz, has been promising to teach me what to do with said sewing machine, but we always do something else while she is at our house. Well, now it's February and Liz came to stay with us today. She showed up with a big square of cloth and said, "Go get your sewing machine, I am teaching you how to sew!" And so she taught me how to put the machine together..... meaning putting the string and the little bobbin on along with the foot pedal.

After that she explained what all the knobs did and away I went stitching lines across a square of cloth. I thought we would be done after that, but then she asked me what I want to make. My first sewing lesson turned out to be my first project! I decided that since I know so many people who are having babies I should learn to make burp cloths. So, I found my favorite type of burp cloth to use as a pattern and about an hour and a half later my first ever sewing project was complete!



They are a little rough around the edges, but I am so proud of them and so excited to do more with my sewing machine!

Little man of the house

Lately, I have taken to some major organization at our house. EVERYTHING has a home and I am loving it! Myles also loves the organization of the house because he knows where everything is.... this is good because he knows where his toys, shoes, clothes and my tupper ware lids go, making life so much easier when I ask him to put whatever he has out back or away when it's time to clean up. Anyway, Myles favorite place of interest since getting organized is the desk in our bedroom aka my Mary Kay office. He is enthralled with my computer so whenever I can't find him I know where to go. Today, I walked in to my bedroom knowing I would find him sitting on the chair with his sweet hand reaching up to take hold of the mouse and click like crazy all over the computer screen.

Just like I expected :)

He is as much a pro with that mouse as it appears.

He started "typing" and when the computer beeped at him this is the face I got.

After the beeping I said, "OH No, what did you do!?" He promptly began pushing me out of my own room.

He saw that I was still taking pictures from the door so he said, "Go!" I peeked back in and he was still staring at me and says, "Go!". So, I went. With him in one arm as I shut the door behind me! Little turkey!

Our little chocolate man!

Myles also had a good Valentine's Day.....I think. I suspect that he did merely for the fact that he is big enough to climb onto the chairs and reach almost anything on the kitchen table including the bag of Dove chocolates that was sitting there. The result? One chocolate faced, sugared up boy for auntie Liz who babysat while we went on our date.

I just adore this picture! Myles has started doing the cheesy face when I take pictures and it just melts my heart! Of course, his shirt is my favorite one too! I am so lucky to have the two sweetest Valentine's all to myself!

Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is a cheesy, Hallmark florists and Hershey's make lots of money holiday that is TOTALLY overrated! HOWEVER! I did enjoy this wonderful day of the year as it has been the first "real" date (meaning we went to dinner, just us, and a movie, just us, and all in one night!) we have gone on in............................................. you get the idea :). Frank and I are realists....perhaps too real at that, AND we are cheap! Combine those two qualities on Valentine's Day and you get dinner paid with a gift card you got from your in-laws for your anniversary (yes we did hang on to if for 2 and 1/2 months before using it) and a movie at the dollar theatre with licorice and peanut butter m&m's we bought at Wal-Mart while waiting an hour to be seated at Chili's and then hid them in my purse because we won't pay theatre price for them OR the movie :) (THANK YOU Janice and Bill! We never would have spoiled ourselves with the dinner we had last night without that gift certificate!) It was the best time we have had in a long time. Dinner was DELICIOUS! Chili's is by far one of my favorite restaurants and mostly because of their spinach-artichoke dip and chips appetizer! YUM! We got through our appetizer and took most of our dinner home to eat for lunch AND dinner today! We definitely got our moneys worth! The movie was AWESOME and we laughed through it while holding hands and eating our stow-away candy. So that is the cheap side of us, but the realists in us know that Valentine's Day plain stinks for many people. Why? Because relationships aren't a one day holiday proven with roses, chocolate and money spent! I like to think I celebrate having Frank as the love of my life each and every day because I know that is how he treats me. I personally do not like getting flowers. They remind me of funerals and they are WAY to expensive for how fast they die and I am NOT a chocolate person. This makes Valentine's Day tricky or so Frank thought. Over time I have finally convinced him that I would so much rather have a loving, caring husband who treats me like a princess everyday of the year and leaves me love notes on my bed side table, surprises me with a volleyball game for our date just because he knows I will love it, takes me dancing in the middle of no where to the music playing on the radio and makes us hot chocolate to drink while we cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. If you think the romantics on Valentine's Day are bad, they have got nothing on Frank! He is my true love because I am his Valentine everyday. So, for Valentine's Day I got the everlasting, unconditional love of my husband with a hand written declaration of love and the reassurance that the gifts I have been receiving at random all year long are so much more than material. They are memories of my amazing, thoughtful husband that I will cherish forever. So, if you are one of those people who thinks your Valentine's Day was a rip off, I challenge you to look more closely at who you have and what they have already given you.

A summary of our lives since moving to Provo in August of 2009

Moving while you are 7 1/2 months pregnant is....intersting. Luckily for me, I was not very sick at all pregnant so we counted that as a huge blessing while we moved. All in all our move went very smooth and a week later Frank was in school and our lives in Provo were in full swing. Six weeks later on October 10, 2009 we were blessed with our sweet son Bruce Myles Wilkerson weighing in at 7lbs 13 oz, 21 inches long at 10:46am. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary in December of '09, a new semester began in January and we welcomed 2010. Now it is 2011 and as I look back at 2010 I can't believe it seems like so little happened! My time was focused on Myles and Frank's was focused on school. We built some great friendships in 2010 and said goodbye to three great families. In order of departure: Bryson and Whitney Mortensen, Dan and Kamila Johnston and Tommy, Kira, and Isaiah Jackson. Myles turned 1 in October 2010, my little sister Tiffany got married the end of October and then all the excitement began in November and hasn't stopped since! In November, I got serious about my Mary Kay business and added two amazing women to my team; Sadie and Kendra. As soon as they joined my team I got scared and promptly stopped getting serious about my Mary Kay. In December Frank was bombarded by his finals AND the LSAT before the Christmas break. I was busy planning and preparing for the annual Mills family Christmas party my sister Liz and I were in charge of. So, Frank had his last test of the semester Thursday December 16th, we drove to my favorite place on earth, Bear Lake, the next day, ran the party through Sunday, drove to Nevada Monday to visit parents, drove an hour south of our house four days later on Christmas eve to my Dad and Step-mom's for Christmas and New Years.
Myles and I spent the break sick. Frank and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary and I broke my radius in two different places snowboarding on New Year's Eve. Welcome 2011? Well, it got even better for us. Frank started the new semester of school then got his LSAT score back and decided he would like to take it again in February.

We celebrated Frank's 25th birthday and I spent the rest of January getting Myles and I well, but Myles just wasn't getting well.

Our first week of February was spent in the hospital as Myles battled Bronchiolitis and a partially collapsed lung :/ Two weeks after getting out of the hospital puts us at present day and Frank has taken the LSAT again, Myles and I have another virus AND Myles had an allergy reaction this week to some spoonfuls of peanut butter. His face was covered in hives, his poor eyes were swollen shut and his upper lip got red and swollen too. In conclusion, we would rather have an eventless year than one as exciting as the last three months have been for our family! I might add that Frank has and AMAZING immune system as he has avoided all 3 viruses Myles and I have gotten. Apparently lots of fruits and veggies really does work wonders because that is the only difference between Myles and I and Frank. I can't even express how excited I am for warm weather! I used to think winter was my least favorite season because of the cold and ice and bad weather. Now I know it is because winter has a whole new meaning when you and your one year old are sick for months! So, I am beyond ready for cold (burrrrr and sickness!) season to be over! I have been joking with Frank that I want to go to law school where it is warm year round.....not a joke anymore!!!!!! I am really excited for the rest of the month and on though. I have finally found what it takes to be organized as a mother, wife and business woman so I am once again ready to run with my Mary Kay business! Frank is really excited he won't have to take the LSAT again until June assuming he didn't ace it Saturday! :D With the kind of stress that test brings I hope there won't be another time he needs to take the LSAT!